The Theory of Moral Sentiments

What’s It Like to Be You?

A boy at the park falls down.
He scrapes his knee. He cries.

Your tummy feels funny when you watch.
You know that hurt. You have fallen too.

Here is a trick you can do.
Close your eyes for one second.
Pretend that you ARE him.

What’s it like to be you?

Now you know. It hurts. He is scared.
So you don’t laugh. You don’t walk away.

You go to him. You ask if he’s okay.
You sit down close.

You can’t make the scrape stop hurting.
But you can stay. You can be gentle.
A friend who stays makes the hurt smaller.

Try it when your sister is mad.
Try it with the new kid, all alone.
Close your eyes. Be them for one second.

What’s it like to be you?
Say it with me: What’s it like to be you?

Ask it. Then go and be kind.

A note for the grown-up

For the grown-up reading aloud: This is the seed of Adam Smith’s The Theory of Moral Sentiments (1759): we understand each other by imagining ourselves in the other person’s place, and that fellow-feeling, always weaker than the real thing, is where kindness starts. Smith also saw that a friend’s company calms a person in pain. Keep the imagining light with a small child. The aim is to feel a little and then help, not to drown in someone else’s hurt. And when they can’t fix a friend’s pain, that isn’t failure; staying close and being gentle is the whole job.

Faces Are My Mirror

Can you see your hands? Yes!
Can you see your feet? Yes!
Can you see your own face?

No. Not without a mirror.

Some things about you are hard to see.
Was I kind just now?
Was I fair?

Faces are my mirror.

You grab the last cookie.
Your friend’s face goes sad.
Oh. Now you can see it.

You pass your friend the red crayon.
Her face lights up.
Oh. Now you can see that too.

Faces are my mirror.

But a face is not the boss of you.
Sometimes a friend frowns when you say no.
No, you won’t push the little kid.
That frown is okay.

So look at the face.
Then think.
Then pick the kind thing.

Faces are my mirror.
Say it with me: Faces are my mirror.

Next time you play, peek at a face.
What does it show you?

A note for the grown-up

For the grown-up reading aloud: Smith argues that a person raised alone could no more judge their own character than see their own face; other people’s reactions are the first mirror we get. He also knew the mirror can mislead, since a whole crowd can approve of something wrong, and he spent much of the book on how we learn to judge ourselves as a fair outsider would, not just as the room does. That is why the beats say a face is not the boss. Help your child look, and then decide.

A Star You Really Earned

Mia’s teacher gives gold stars.
You get one for a tidy desk.

One day Mia’s desk is a mess.
Her friend Sam tidies it for her.
The teacher sees. Mia gets a star!

Does it feel good? Hmm.
Not really. Mia knows.
Sam did the tidying.

I want to BE good,
not just look good.

The next day, Mia tidies her own desk.
She puts every crayon back.
The teacher is busy. Nobody sees.

No star today.
But Mia feels warm inside anyway.
She really did it.

I want to BE good,
not just look good.

Stars are nice! It’s okay to love a star.
The best star is the one you earned.
And the warm feeling can come without one.

Say it with me:
I want to BE good,
not just look good.

Tonight, do one kind thing.
Do it even if nobody sees.

A note for the grown-up

For the grown-up reading aloud: Smith wrote that people want not only to be loved but to be lovely, meaning worth loving. Praise we know we didn’t earn gives little pleasure, and knowing we deserved praise comforts us even when none comes. Don’t let this turn into the idea that wanting praise is bad; Smith thought the wish for approval is natural and healthy. The point is where the best feeling comes from.